View Full Version : [RP] [Mature Adults Only] The Day Jartor Solo'd TTK No Scam Everyone Saw It Happen

02-20-2017, 12:31 PM
The bright sunlight shone warmly across the glade as the sun crested the peak of the sky - sending dancing motes of light across his face. He sat still, serene, at peace. His noble countenance showing no emotion other than that of contentment. His eyes opened, the bright blue of a Nuian native to the craggy seaside cliffs of Karkasse, sharp like steel and ever vigilant.

He wore a simple tunic of gray, and he knelt in the glade he had set camp in Sungold Fields, Auroria. He was Jartor - veteran of many wars. He who had held the banner aloft during the great Superbowl wars of 2017, he who had carried the shield-wall to victory during the legendary Growlgate Meme Expedition. Hero and father to the Pirate Kings of Growlgate, brother to any who would stand with him in glorious combat - known throughout the lands as the " Greatest Meme to Ever Live™ " (The Book of Syncd 5:19)

But he had not been a warrior for many years, he had stepped away, disgusted with his commanders after the now infamous purging of the west that had resulted in many peasants getting on rowboats and sailing north to pirate island. His mouth turned to a grim line as he remembered these things, so much death - so many bad memes.

He had found peace with himself in the years since, carrying weapons and maintaining armor but never using them - out of respect for the man he once was, never to become him again. But alas, as many might mention - the plans of mortals rarely match those of fate and the Gods.

Was that ... drums? Jartor looked southward towards the sound coming through the trees, but could see nothing. A dull thrump ... thrump thrump echoed unpleasantly from a distance. Jartor rose to his feet, suspicious - sprinting through the forest. He burst from the forest into the open rolling fields, below him laid the small unnamed Hamlet occupied by farmers and pilgrims who had come north to separate themselves from the politics of Nuia and Haranya alike. Good people. People who were under siege.

Dark columns of smoke rose to the sky, the wooden palisade that surrounded the town shattered inward as if a great explosion had rocked them. Jartor looked closer, his eyes sharp like the Samurai bushido katana ♥♥♥♥♥♥ - dark horned figures encircled the town as the occupants thereof tried to defend themselves with pitchforks and pallets of Dasani™ brand spring water, free of preservatives and pollutants.

TTK had come to the lands of Sungold to pillage and raid. Jartor turned around quickly, sprinting back to his modest tent, rushing to the chest within. He paused, he had sworn off this life. But people needed his aid against this most foul of foes. Jartor gripped his spear, memories assaulting him. Many had fallen beneath the steel he held. Many blades had broken against the armor he donned. Sword and spear in either hand, the whirlwind dervish of iron and ash rose from his tent. Armor glistening in the bright sun.

His feet pounded in tune with the war-drums in the valley below him, racing across hill and field, heart and mind filled with deadly purpose. He came to a half just outside the palisade wall, preparing his mind for the blood to come. Listening intently, he head the clatter of armor and screams of women and children, grunts of men struck down by fel blade and the most sinister of magick's. Jartor vaulted over the wall, the power of his legs propelling him high into the air. Below him as he crested the apex of his jump, lay 24 warriors surrounding a tight knot of farmers below. They stood as heroes before the demons before them.

Jartor landed amongst the black clad figures, sword and spear flashing with lightning speed as he pierced and hacked through the thick armor as if paper soldiers stood before him. Darkrunner after Darkrunner fell before him, they had not specialized into the bad ping and leech combo so it was ezpz gg-no-re u feel me. As the last warrior fell before him, Jartor looked to the humble farmers before him. Some he recognized, some he did not. Before him lay Skoal, Sheny, and many others. Jartor frowned, confused, recognizing these people as pirates.

They fought with thin bamboo fishing poles and wore brightly colored ponchos made of burlap. But now was not the time to question why pirates are engaged in PvE activity, Jartor turned from them as they stool - mouths agape in wonder at the glorious angel of vengeance before them.

The enemy has pulled back for some reason, allowing the peasants to pull the wall back up, providing them with some small semblance of a defense against the next attack that would come. Jartor strode forth through the streets, walking for the main gate. Many and more familiar faces greeted him, brothers and sisters from wars long past. Katie, queen of the farm carts, Downtime - once known as Lord of the Dance throughout the land - booty still shaking to the tune of its own song as if with a mind of its own.

Jartor passed through the main gate, and stood before it. Spear sunk deep into the mud of the main road, standing a sentinel before the darkness to shield the pleasant hamlet that had been so kind to him when he has passed through these lands. The gates closed behind him, Jartor planted his feet and began to pray.

Hear me now, oh great meme in the sky. The most foul of enemies stands before me; TTK. Dark Warriors all. Hear my call and empower me to a viscous reckoning against these plebbies

No answer. This did not surprise Jartor, for he had stopped feeling the light many years ago when he had killed a level 30 <Finding Nemo> member running a farm wagon through Hellswamp during war -Blitzgank was in a nui and he couldn't hit him, so he had lashed out against the small dwarf wagon driver. He had never been the same after that shameful display.

Many hours passed, with no TTK in sight. This was concerning, TTK would never leave or avoid PvP in order to bring a great horde of players just to fight one person. Would they? Jartor's brows furrowed in concern.

The sky turned dark as the night enveloped Auroria. A great storm in the sky spitting bolts of red and white lightning illuminating the fields before the village. Fat droplets of rain began to fall from the sky, soaking the dark cloak that lay about his shoulders, sending rivulets of moisture cresting down his armor that still shone with a pale light even in the encroaching darkness.

He stood there for several hours when it started. The beating of drums echoed once against across the fields of Sungold. They spoke of terror, death, famine, war, stale memes. Figures began to mark out of the darkness, coming into view in terrible glory. They stopped. Jartor's eyes grew wide, and then sharpened with contempt.

There were thousands of them out there in the darkness, a living tide of Anthalon sets and abilities waiting to be mouse-clicked.

A figured separated itself from the horde before him, it was Ayo - the Overlord of Anime Memes.

"Jartor, how nice to see you" his/her? (its a trap I have no idea so it'll be a him for this story, pls dont catfish) His lip rose with contempt. "Look before you, oh "mighty papa", you will die here today as you should've died during the Great Superbowl Wars of 2017!" He laughed, a noise that can only be describe as the sound of a galleon of Skim Milk being sucked into a very large vacuum after it's been spilt on the floor by an absent-minded toddler.

Jartor glared at the creatures that stood before him. He would fight and die to defend these PvErs from the ravages of war, that grim beast that would break them as it had broken him many years ago. His grip tightened on his spear, his eyes narrowed, his senses focused - the cold rain moving down his back, the weight of his weapons in his hands, the blood in his veins, the glory to come.

He moved like an East player when you catch them in a fair fight, as fast as the wind and impossible for the naked eye to track. Leaping into the air, he crashes down amongst the demons before him. Ayo disappeared in a puff of smoke as he used teleportation disciple to jump all the way to Ynystere.

His spear and sword flashed and danced, cleaving warrior in twain with every stroke. Jartor laughed in the face of these paper warriors, shattering shields and helms, he smote his way through the iron tide. Never faltering, never wavering.

For the first time, his sword met resistance. A blade flashes forward to catch it, spinning down to strike Jartor in the legs and tripping him. It was Disturbed, the great Darkrunner of the East. Jartor defending himself from his back as Disturbed rained blow after blow on him. Summoning the power within, Jartor forced energy outwards, impaling enemies around him on spires of holy energy. All who were touched by this force were immobilized.

He rose to his feet, armor battered by the hundreds of blades it had weathered. Sword and spear still as sharp as the day he had hammered them into being. He began to chant, the enemies around him watching him warily. He beat his chest with his fist, cuts, bruises, and lacerations around his body began to heal as the light filled him like it had so many years ago.

He looked at Disturbed and smirked. Disturbed yelled: "Wow dude vitalism is OP and Argent is a TRASH CLASS! eat my butthole dude" and then he logged out. RIP

More enemies came, and they fell like any other who had stood before Him. Light blazed from his eyes and flowed through his weapons. Suddenly, a hole opened in the fighting, revealing a bowl-like depression in the land. Inside it stood Ayo, Myrry, Scrorchh, Ayu, and Aku - performing a twisted ritual, the reason for the storm. The bodies of hundreds of innocents slain and shattered remnants of rented cars littered the ground. They stood before him, taunting.

Jartor let out a mighty shout and charged forth, fire burning in his heart. Myrry did not expect him to come so fast, Jartor struck like a tiger - he kicked with all his might into Myrry's chest - sternum and sinew parting as Myrry was struck with the force of 1,000 shattered honor gems. His chest split open like an overripe Avocado at Chipotle.

A sword flashed towards him, Jartor parried and caught the following shield slam with his spear. Using it like a hook he pulled Aku towards him and brought his knee up in a vicious crescent. The brunt impact of the blow crumpled his breastplate inwards and threw him back several yards. Scorchh and Ayu leapt forward to defend their fallen comrade, throwing vortices of deadly energies towards Jartor.

He stood before the storm, spear raised into the sky as if challenging the gods themselves to the dance of death. The light was blinding, his entire form wrapped in thick smoke and light - removing him from view. The energy sputtered and died, Scorchh and Ayu panting after spending so much energy on the task - their mana depleted. Tired - but they laughed at the defeat of their most hated enemy. Aku rose from the ground slowly.

Jartor rose from the smoke, a shimmering blue aura surrounding him. He pushed forward as Ayu tried frantically to click his mana-pot button. Jartor was on him like Bill Cosby at a wedding featuring an open bar. He swung his fist in a vicious round-house, crumpling Ayu like a flesh accordion.

Aku charged forward once more, throwing a raid of blows into Jartor's defenses as Scorchh exhibited his feeble attempts at keyboard backpedaling. Jartor's hand shot out, striking Aku in the breastplate and shattering it. Forcing his hand inside the breastplate, Aku looked at Jartor with what can only be described as the horror of somebody who used a public restroom to #2 and there was no toilet paper.

Jartor jerked his hand out in one swift motion, the still beating heart of Aku in his hand, raising it into the air. Blood raining from the heart into his open mouth. Scorchh, mana restore, summoned a mighty stream of fire and shot it towards Jartor.

Jartor walking through the flames, for he is the flame, and tore Scorchh's throat out with his spear. Spinning quickly around on his back foot, he threw that same spear with all his might towards the figure in the air - taking Ayo by the chest and sending him crashing to the ground dead as a MF (rip).

A massive explosion rocked the clearing as the ritual was disrupted, and Jartor...nor anyone close to the explosion...knew any more.

1013 years later

Erocque of the Privateers Auroria expedition knelt, hand to the ground. Clearly deep in thought. Before him lay the ruins of some great battle long past. Broken swords and spears, rusted armor fragments lay across the fields.

"What's the matter? It's just another heap of junk" - that was Duckie, his kawaii sidekick.

"There's something different about this one" said Erocque "I can feel it".

Duckie rolled her eyes, "whatever you say, I'm going to go pee in this pool brb".

Erocque returned to his search, ordering his men to begin digging. Many hours later, Equinox and Trap of The Fire Nation called out to him, they had clearly found something.

An excavation hole, 4-5 feet deep sat as a scar against the ground. Erocque peered inside, there lay a spear of such wonderful craftsmanship he had never seen. He jumped into the hole, his stubby dwarf legs shaking at the majesty of the powerful artifact before him.

"We're gonna be rich!" Yelled Beck, who stood behind Erocque. He grabbed the spear.

A shadow fell over the hole, a massive dark figure standing over it. "That's my spear", the figure said.

~the end get meme'd~

02-20-2017, 12:59 PM
tearing my throat out with your spear LMAO

02-20-2017, 01:12 PM
tearing my throat out with your spear LMAO

That's not the only spear your throat will be feeling :cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool:

I had to give my boy a sick cameo like a James Bond villain

The Pariah
02-20-2017, 02:11 PM
That's not the only spear your throat will be feeling :cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool:

I had to give my boy a sick cameo like a James Bond villain


02-20-2017, 02:35 PM
I remember the day, when hero Slurpy soloed Trucidation in guild dominion. That was a good day!

02-20-2017, 02:35 PM
I remember the day, when hero Slurpy soloed Trucidation in guild dominion. That was a good day!

I remember this, that's where I learned how to fight 30 people at once without dying

02-20-2017, 03:14 PM
i love this ♥♥♥♥ lmao

02-20-2017, 11:21 PM
If Jartor doesn't get hero after this story....... He did a read out of this in Team speak... It was recorded lol

02-21-2017, 06:24 AM
I can confirm this is a true story. TTK zerg was just a kill count to Jartor.

02-21-2017, 07:01 AM

I will tell this story to my children for years to come.

02-21-2017, 07:50 AM
He looked at Disturbed and smirked. Disturbed yelled: "Wow dude vitalism is OP and Argent is a TRASH CLASS! eat my butthole dude" and then he logged out. RIP

Vitalism is definitely OP dude, they really need to buff Darkrunners. IMO Darkrunners need an AOE debuff that reduces all healing to their targets by 100%. Maybe then vitalism would be balanced.


02-21-2017, 08:55 AM
Vitalism is definitely OP dude, they really need to buff Darkrunners. IMO Darkrunners need an AOE debuff that reduces all healing to their targets by 100%. Maybe then vitalism would be balanced.[/IMG]

Man this would be a great balance change. T R I N O W H E R E U AT