View Full Version : (He killed my buddies and made me post this) The Diaries of Jartor #1: The Fall of Dannyboy

03-08-2017, 06:59 PM
The Fall of Dannyboy and Rise of the Sons

Snow fell in thick sheets through the gloomy air on the mountain. A thick bearskin cloak hung from his shoulders like a damp curtain. His body covered in thick plate, surrounded by a ring of men. A crusader force, knights all - patrolling the northern borders of Nuimari.

High in the mountains they stood, armor scuffed with scratches and the marks of battle. The mountain range had become more dangerous of late, dark horrors moving south as if led by an invisible hand. The first signs being a cold wind at night that rattled the bones and stole the life from hearth. The next morning to leave no sign but dead peasants who till the fields of Auroria.

The continent had always been dangerous, but this was something else. A winged helm turned towards the north, surveying the terrain, eyes the color of blue ice boring through the thick forests and snow swept crags. Searching for threats.

They were the Warrior Poets of Karkasse, strong and noble mercenary warriors, who followed the Codex Et Papa - the Book of Memes, the holy word.

He turned to face his brothers, looking to his leader - Dannyboy.

"Jartor - what do you see?" Danny asked the cloaked warrior.

"Nothing yet, but they will come" replied Jartor, jaw tight with tension, eyes nonetheless excited at the prospect of battle to come. "We will meet them soon"

Danny strode forth, his warband behind him warily moving across the mountainside. One of their member stopped abruptly, it was Zaithen, he who's nose was sharp like the bushido dragon naruto shuriken teeth of the legendary Weeaboo creature found deep in the wilds of Erp, the fourth continent. He rose his face to the air, breathing deep.

"What is it?" asked the small mustacheod Dwarf female next to him, Jayboogie his name was. Swift were his feet, many DDR machines had fallen beneath those leather clad tootsies.

And so battle was met.

~2 Weeks Later~

Their journey done, the Warrior Poets returned victorious to The Citadel, the fastness of the sovereign Calmlands nation. They had left the darklands to the north in victory, beaten and battered but never broken. Awaiting feasts and songs that would never come.

The band of merry warriors crested the last hill, bring the Citadel in view. Something was wrong, thought Dannyboy, there are no farmers tilling their fields and no memes in faction chat about someone being stuck inside. Bringing their horses to a brisk gallop, the warriors assembled upon the lowermost knoll of grass.

They were joined by 200 members of the Calmlands Guard, who merged with them as they returned from their patrol east to defend their home and castle.

Calmlands' front gate was open as plate clad soldiers frantically beckoned commoners towards it. Farmers, bakers, craftmen, people of all kinds sprinted towards the gate in fear - followed by a great darkness.

"Dear mother of Nuia" cussed Jartor, under his breath. "I have never seen so many"

Who they were, the Warrior Poets knew not. Dark figures followed by the shadow of dead servers and freefarm PvE content looming on the horizon.

With no words - no question of how to act. The Warrior Poets put heel to flank and began to move towards the castle at a full gallop. They stopped before the gate, aiding the commoners as they rushed inside the fastness.

Jartor said something lost amidst the noise of those running to the gate. Zaithen looked towards him, asking him to repeat himself.

"I said they won't make it, they aren't fast enough" he said.

The other Poets gathered around in somber congregation - Dannyboy looked to the sky as if askance, and nodded. The bond between these brothers stronger than any steel, they knew what must be done. Without a wasted movement, 100 of the strongest heroes Nuia had ever seen hoisted themselves up on their steeds, armor and weapons rattling, but no words spoken.

They rode through a legion of commoners fleeing to the protection of the castle, breaking free into the open fields. A drop against the sea. A spark in the lightless night.

"FREEEEDOMMMMMMM!" Dannyboy screamed into teamspeak as they crashed into the mass of the army approaching them. Spears, lances, and deadly energies crashed through the wild melee as the two forces merged with one another. Warrior Poets still riding forward, cutting through their phones like a scythe through wheat.

But their charge could not last forever, and as their momentum died - so did their horses and they fell to the ground. Back to back, brothers in arms they fought - slaying scores of foes by the second. Dannyboy with his very skill reliant gods whip crashing shimmering lightning down into their foes.

Jay with his feet like the dancing wind, his arrows struck with the wild fury of nature. Throwing foes aside with rent open torso's and decapitated heads.

Zaithen who's daggers parted throats, he who could not be caught as he teleported swiftly across the battlefield.

Many others fought and died that day. Swords and spears splintered shields, great energies wielded by the mages clashing above in the sky as they fought for a mystical advantage.

Minutes that felt like hours stretched on as Jartor's arms grew as heavy as lead. The loud *CLANG* of the castle gate behind them closed - signally it was their time to pull out. Their rag-tag shield was began to advance at Danny's order backwards towards reinforcement, the enemy warily watching them from 10-meters, but no longer engaged.

Jartor turned to look for his leader, but he could not see him. Something wasn't right and he called the column to a halt, and only then did he notice the prone form of Danny laying in the mud - a single black dagger with the crude etching of "VISA biiiiitch" was all that was left as evidence of treachery.

"SCHILTRON FORMATION!" shouted Jartor as he rushed to his fallen lord.

Cradling Danny's battered head in his arms, Danny put on some sunglasses and lit a cigar. He puffed it twice and then died, but came back to life because of a rez scroll but then he uninstalled Archage. Jartor heard only one thing: "you are the best archeage player to ever live and you will be the new GM of this guild hehe xd" - and then he died.

"NOOO!!!!" cried Jartor to the heavens, had he been forsaken so? But he was their leader now, and he would not let them down. He dropped his saddlebags on the ground, frantically rushing through them as his warriors fought and died around him.

AHA! He found it, clutching the scroll tightly to his chest he used the magic within to rebrand his guild as a meme and was shocked when people started whispering him to join it hehexd.

As he rose, the last of his warriors had fallen. A dead field awaited him, surrounded by enemies. As he prepared to meet his end in glorious combat, the last sounds were that of horns. He looked behind him, a single flag in the distance held aloft by a french guy named Lafush.

On it were two simple words: Algae Squad

03-08-2017, 07:14 PM
Well played sir, well played. (And very well written)

Long live Namia, forever the greatest server.

03-08-2017, 07:45 PM
Greatest Meme writer here.

03-08-2017, 07:45 PM
This is just like i remembered it..... RIP Dannyboy..... The greatest leader ever. *Breaks out in song*

Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.
From glen to glen and down the mountain side.
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling.
It's you, It's you, must go, and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow.
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow.
I'll be here in Sunshine or in Shadow
Oh Danny Boy, Oh Danny Boy, I love you so.

03-08-2017, 07:51 PM

In honor of a good friend.... *holds lighter up*

I cant get the video to pop up =<

03-08-2017, 07:56 PM
A good meme

Harley Rizumu
03-08-2017, 11:41 PM
finest of writings but a little sad the half lion Demigod wasn't included xD

03-09-2017, 07:53 AM

03-14-2017, 09:06 AM
Yet another prize wining biographical by the meme Lord. Well versed sir.

03-14-2017, 12:44 PM
Impressive.. so impressive :D

Ralangorf the King
03-14-2017, 01:18 PM
This is amazing. Omfg please when's the next installment!!

03-14-2017, 02:03 PM
I hope the next installment has his high priest in it (Me)

04-07-2017, 10:17 AM
Daddy we need The Diaries of Jartor #2.